As soon as you “think” you are done parenting, you get the privilege of “GRAND” parenting, and the fun part of parenting begins!
Riding around in the car, Malia, my 5 year old kindergarten granddaughter excitedly says, “Hey Grandma, I’m learning double digits in school! Ask me how much 2 plus 2 is, or 3 plus 3!”
Thus, begins the dialogue of 2 plus 2, 3 plus 3, and 4 plus 4. Proudly she spouts off the answers….until we reach 8 plus 8. “Ummm, Grandma…that is too high a number.” Bantering back and forth with numbers between 1 and 7 she answers each with enthusiasm. She’s learning through repetition to memorize the facts: 2 plus 2 will always be 4.
In like manner, as I was growing up I memorized certain things through repetition and memorization also but the answers I thought were right… were wrong.
I find myself unintentionally defaulting to those wrong answers because it is what I had always believed. Because it is what I thought for many, many years, it is uncomfortable and difficult (but not impossible) to replace those wrong answers.
As the equation of two plus two ALWAYS equals four; wrong beliefs ALWAYS equal wrong behavior.
For example, say I am told as a little girl that the sky is orange. Because I would not know to question the person who told me I just accepted it. I grew up looking at the sky and thinking it was orange. Therefore, everything I saw blue in my mind was orange.
I held onto what I thought was truth and stored it in my mind. Yet I began to question what was wrong with me when others began to belittle, argue or treat me wrongly. For I was adamant, the sky was the color orange.
Growing older, I became frustrated for I didn’t understand why people treated me as if I were different. I was just like them so why didn’t they believe the sky was orange? Still unable to consider that possibly what I believed was wrong because I trusted the person who told me the sky was orange. They wouldn’t lie to me! Would they? Of course not……
· I learned to be argumentive because I had to prove the sky was orange.
· I learned I was stupid because the sky was truly blue.
· I learned to give up because I could never win the argument.
· I learned not to trust because I found out the person did lie to me.
And I repeated that behavior over and over. The years of repetition took its toll for it had a ripple effect in all my relationships. For I felt:
· stupid
· defeated
· less than
· never good enough
Pathetically, it all began believing a lie from someone I trusted. It has been a battle when my mind defaults to that lie. Seemingly ridiculous yet I have to repeat to myself and sometimes say out loud, “The sky is blue, the sky is blue…” to reprogram my mind to accept and believe the truth.
Going through this process, I am finding that I view things differently. People don’t treat me as if I am less than or stupid. I am learning I am good enough so I don’t feel defeated. Because the truth truly does set us free.
Free to be who God made me to be.
Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed. Psalm 12:19