By
Dana Rausch
/ July 9, 2013
My name is Dana and I am an addict. Society tends to classify addiction in various categories or different levels. Is one really worse than another?
I am not addicted to drugs, so does that put me one up?
I am not addicted to alcohol, so does that make me better?
I am not addicted to a substance, but I am to something.
Therefore, if I don’t do what some would consider the “BIG” things, is my addiction minor? Am I a little better than someone who has the BIG cravings? Would you consider me a little higher on the ladder of success because my addiction is not as bad as someone else’s?
I hope not.
Yet I have learned to manage my addiction. It is so tightly organized I am able to hide it well. Depending on who I am with at the moment, I have conditioned myself to act accordingly to gain their approval.
Have you guessed my addiction? It’s sin. Like Romans 7:19 says, “I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.”
I want to do what is right, but I keep hitting a wall. Just like a Roomba (an automatic vacuum cleaner) which hits a wall and simply turns around to avoid it, I try to sidestep my sin. When I hit an obstacle instead of dealing with it or finding out what it is, I turn around to go
I was sickened and ashamed that not only had I collected but also stockpiled these toxic items. Things stored that were damaging and detrimental to living the Christian life. Instead of storing up for myself treasures in heaven, I have been chained to things of the earth……
someplace easy.
Yet God has called me out…… and it’s time to face the wall or walls.
I love the concept of an open floor plan. It’s light and airy. Everything is visible. There is room to expand and move around. You don’t feel closed in or confined. But that is not what I have when it comes to my addiction.
There are small rooms where I keep things hidden called closets and nobody can see what I have in them. What they can’t see and don’t know will keep my perfectly construed image intact.
However God never called us to organize our sin or keep it in closets. Before we can tear down the walls we have to clean out the closets.
I opened my first closet yesterday……..
I had no idea when I starting pulling everything out what I had even packed away in that particular closet. It was only when I began sorting through that I could see the reoccurring theme.
Pride….
There were numerous boxes with diverse labels. One box was marked arrogance. Another was conceit. I also found self-importance, smugness, haughty, exaggerated self-esteem, boastful, braggart, flattery, self-glorification, and selfishness.
I was sickened and ashamed that not only had I collected but also stockpiled these toxic items. Things stored that were damaging and detrimental to living the Christian life. Instead of storing up for myself treasures in heaven, I have been chained to things of the earth……Nevertheless I am taking steps in the right direction. I admit I am an addict to sin, I was never called to manage it but to deal with it. I can rest assure that God loves me. He is willing to walk through this purging with me. He encourages me in Deuteronomy 31:6: “Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
There is no ladder nor are there various levels of sin. Sin is sin and it is all the same in God’s eyes. Regardless if it is abusing drugs or alcohol, lying, stealing or pride, sin needs to be dealt with.
Have anything hiding in your closet?
